Defeat is Only the Begining
by Madam RedRose25
Summary: One Shot for now. Harry has just defeated the darkest wizard known to man but that is not the hard part. He now has to deal with the pain that comes at the end of every war, he now has to grieve. Deathly Hallows spoilers.


This has been done numerous amounts of times already, funny enough- the book came out a week ago only. Was it that long ago? My god… Anyway, this story is just about Harry dealing with the life he has to now live, full of new pain and yet new joy. As you hopefully know I do not like Harry+Ginny and Ron+Hermione but as they sadly get together in book 7 I have to put it in wont I? So sorry if it seems forced because I only like Harry+Hermione. I will try to make this a one shot but I am known to write and never stop until I stop myself so it may be a few chapters long only. I hope you like! Onward with My version of what happens after chapter 36 of Deathly Hallows!

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**DEFEAT IS ONLY THE BEGINNING….**

Harry Potter had just emerged from the Forbidden Forest, tired, sweaty and full of cuts and bruises. He had walked very deep in the forest to hide an artifact of very great power, an artifact that had finally once and for all defeated Lord Voldermort, the Elder Wand. He knew how useful the unbeatable wand was but he could not help but think of the power and destruction that could still lead if one used it. He decided it was best to place it when it came from no matter how much Ron goggled at it. After Harry felt it was deep enough he placed several concealment charms around it in hopes that it would be impossible for someone to come across it later in life. With that task completed he walked back up to the castle eager to get some rest once and for all. Being in a battle for the school, faking your own death and defeating the darkest wizard in a century could do that to you.

Harry wasn't watching where he was walking when he bumped into somebody. He looked up to see Hermione.

"Harry! Where were you? Where you in the forest all this time? What were you doing?" she demanded.

"Hermione, please, you're making my head hurt."

"Oh, sorry. Well? What were you doing all this time?"

"I had to hide the wand didn't I? I placed it deep enough in the forest so no one can ever find it and placed some charms around for extra precaution. No one will ever know where it is but me and when I die"-

"So will the wand, I know. Can't we talk about this in the morning? I have a humungous headache and I need to rest, undisturbed."

"Well there's nowhere to rest that's undisturbed really. There are so many people in the hospital wing right now, there have been so many injuries and every single Gryffindor it seems are resigning in the common room."

Harry sighed. "Maybe I should just go to Bill and Fleur's or something. I really need to be alone right now."

"Ginny isn't going to like that," Hermione smiled sadly.

"Yeah well, I deserve to have some peace don't I? Not everything can be helped by a girlfriend or something. I just need time to think. Where are you and Ron staying then tonight?"

"I think Ron is staying here as is Ginny and all the Weasleys. They- they don't really know what else to do since- since…"she trailed off, tears filling her eyes.

Harry's eyes began to burn as well. "Yeah, it will be pretty hard to return home after he died. I understand." Harry drew in a deep breath willing himself to not think of the tragic death of Fred Weasley nor the deaths of Lupin and Tonks.

Before he knew it tears were falling from his eyes. Hermione pulled him close and pretty soon he was sobbing onto her shoulder. She held onto him and rubbed his back in comfort.

"Want to go somewhere private?" she whispered, crying as well. Harry nodded and Hermione led them into an unused classroom on the first floor and locked the door behind them.

She knew Harry needed time to grieve and he wouldn't want to cry his eyes out over all his misfortune to Ginny for she was grieving over the death of her own brother and that was enough, she didn't need to have Harry cry with her, she needed to be alone for a bit. Harry sat down on a chair and put his face in his hands and tried to regain his strength and composer. Hermione sat down next to him.

"Want to talk about it?" she squeaked, wiping her eyes as well.

Harry drew in a shuddered breath and Hermione handed him a handkerchief. He wiped at his face before answering sadly, "It's just- it feels wrong you know? After everything- everything that happened, people died. Really good people you know?"

Hermione nodded rubbing his back.

"I finally got to do what I've been wanting to do since who-knows when and there are people who can't celebrate with me. People who have died to serve the same purpose as me, to save each other and the school and stop Voldermort and I finally kill him and they will never know what I did. They were such good people. Fred, why him? He doesn't deserve to die at all. He just opened up the joke shop a year ago and now George will have to run it alone. Hell I'd be surprised if he'll want to after what happened. It was his twin, there's no stronger bond between someone than their own twin right? He is going to feel so lost and empty the rest of his life. There's only going to be one of him now and it will just be so empty without him. Everyone speaks about them, the Weasley twins this, and the Weasley twins that. It's always been a shared effort, it cant just be one of them there has to be two of them," Harry cried to Hermione.

"I know, I know," she said softly.

"Mrs. Weasley will be so devastated. Did you know her feat was one of her kids not making it out in this war? And now her fear has been realized and she will never be the same. You know how she is…I feel so bad for them. They had all those children only to loose one. He was only nineteen, that's way too young to die," Harry softly said as tears fell from his eyes again.

"I know it is, I know. But remember, he was fighting for the good so"-

"That doesn't matter Hermione," Harry said bitterly. "He still died. Don't get me started on Lupin and Tonks. That- I just- I cant believe it. It's Lupin, he's gone. All the marauders are dead Hermione. Dead before they ever saw their children grow up and- and make them proud," Harry sobbed.

Hermione hugged him. Harry continued to cry for a while before finally calming down enough to say, "I knew things like this were possible to happen but I never thought how painful it could be…"

"I know Harry. It was completely unfair how they died and who did die. No one deserves to die that young. It's not your fault."

"But if I would've just"-

"No Harry, listen to me, it was not your fault okay? The Death Eaters are told and forced to not care about anyone. They would've killed no matter what you did. They all died fighting a hero's death. They're proud to go the way they did, they were fighting to protect us all and nothing is more important than that. They were brave and fought and we won. They know what you did Harry and they're all so happy for you. You know that right?" Hermione asked looking into Harry's sharp gaze.

"They didn't want to go at all Hermione. No one wants to die. And they had a son; they just had a son…."

Hermione nodded and held onto Harry a while longer until it felt like he had no more tears to shed. "If I won the war why does it feel like I haven't? So many people who are dead or injured, I feel so horrible for everyone."

"Well it does no good sitting in an unused classroom Harry. Come on, let's see if there's still a spot in the hospital wing for you to rest a bit alright? Ginny doesn't have to know. Like you said, she's still grieving."

Harry drew in one last shuddered breath before nodding and allowing Hermione to walk him to the hospital wing.

"Its lucky it's so late out. Actually, early it is. Its morning now. No one should notice you at all."

But Harry stopped her. "Wait, I don't know Hermione, what if Madam Pomfrey is asleep? I mean, she kind of needs some rest if you say she was attending to so many casualties…"

"There are a few healers from St. Mungo's here actually to help. I'm sure she's awake, she has to be."

Harry didn't argue back but allowed Hermione to open one of the double doors and peak in to see if everyone was asleep. Satisfied at what she found she let Harry walk in before her. Harry saw that every bed was occupied and there were family members sleeping in chairs beside the students in the beds. Madam Pomfrey did not seem to be around. Harry was already regretting coming here. His headache would go away if he slept his injuries from the war on Hogwarts and against Voldermort and hiding the Elder Wand could wait, plus all the beds were taken up!

"I think she's in her office, the light is on still," Hermione said softly and went to knock on Poppy's door. The door opened immediately to see a very flustered Madam Pomfrey. She had bags under her eyes, her robes were ruffled and she had taken off her nurse's hat and was fanning herself.

"Oh! Ms. Granger, Potter! What is it?" she cried, standing up.

"Well, we were just wondering if there was any room for Harry to rest for a while. We didn't think the dorm was a good idea because there's too many people but, we can see its full here so sorry to bother you," Hermione said softly, getting ready to leave.

"What? Oh, no, come here, come here. Yes the hospital wing is full but there's an extra room in my office. Come in, good."

Harry and Hermione walked into her office and followed her to a door in the back.

"This room is used for private uses only. If there's a student who has a grievous injury and doesn't ant to be seen then they stay here. It's private so you can stay here as long as you want Harry."

Harry nodded mutely, only half-listening to her. He was so tired and hurt everywhere. He just wanted to lie on a soft pillow and not wake for the next 100 years.

"You can stay here as long as you want Harry okay? No one needs to now you are here. Granger, do you want to stay here tonight- well, this morning as well?"

"Oh, um, no I'll leave."

Hermione knew that Harry wanted to be left by himself for a while. He needed time to think of everything that had happened and this private room was the most secret place away from everyone for now.

"Ill be fine Hermione," Harry said in an exhausted voice. "Tell Ginny where I am alright? I'll see you later."

Hermione nodded and kissed his cheek. Harry smiled tiredly and she walked out. As soon as she left Harry fell on top of the single bed that was situated in the room. Harry noticed this bed was nicer than any he slept in the hospital wing. It was a full-sized bed with fluffy nice blue covers and tons of pillows.

"Wow, wish I would've stayed here all the numerous amounts of times I had to come here," Harry said to the matron lazily, snuggling in the pillows.

"Well you deserve it Harry I think. Let me look over all those injuries okay? Then you can sleep as long as you want…"

Whether or not she began to clean his wounds, Harry didn't know. He was too exhausted to care and fell asleep on the bed without a care in the world….

Harry woke up past lunch later that day to see a blurred figure with red hair standing next to his bed. He groaned and turned over, wincing at the dull aches he body produced as he moved. He knew it was Ginny but didn't feel like talking to her just yet. He thought it was best to leave her alone to grieve over Fred and he himself needed time to grieve and think over so many things without any friends or students surrounding him. He knew the talk that would break out if he went to Gryffindor tower and didn't want to risk getting another huge headache like the one he had earlier this morning.

"Ginny, listen, as great as it is to see you I think we both need to be left alone for a bit alright? I don't want to sound mean but- well, all the tragedy that has happened just happened hours ago and I can't face you or Ron or Hermione without thinking about it. I need to be left by myself for a while, understand?" he asked frowning and hoping she understood where he was going.

Ginny sighed and handed Harry his glasses. "Why do you think you have to do everything by yourself Harry?"

"I'm so use to it, that's why! Look, Lupin and Tonks just died yesterday leaving behind a newborn baby and not to mention your own brother! Yes I defeated Voldermort but it doesn't help with the pain of all that will be missed because of it. I need to be left alone, alright?"

Ginny sighed again. "I do know what your going through Harry, don't think I don't," she said softly, not looking at him.

"No you don't. Nobody does. I lost more than anyone has ever lost. Please, I need to be left alone with my thoughts for a little bit alright?" he told her a bit more angrily this time.

"If you wanted to be left alone so badly why were you with Hermione earlier?"

"We ran into each other after I hid the elder Wand deep in the forest. I didn't ask for her to bump into me. You know Hermione, she worries so much and was just wondering why I was gone so long and we just met up at the castle doors."

"I know that but I want to know why you allowed her to comfort you this morning if you wanted to be left alone to your thoughts," Ginny asked accusingly.

"What the heck? You think I'm snogging her or something? Look, we're very, very close friends. We're brother and sister. She just happened to be there for me at that exact time and it just happened, everything and I couldn't help but think of it and before I knew it I- well I was crying on her shoulder…." He finished lamely.

Ginny's expression changed and she sat down next to him in the grand private hospital wing bed. Harry drew in a hitched breath and looked up to the high ceiling before looking down at his hands.

"I know Harry. She does worry. I was in Gryffindor tower thinking about- about Fred and I caught her getting up to- to look for you I think. I don't know, I wasn't really listening. You were gone a while. You just told us you would hide the wand but we didn't think you would take hours to do it. She does worry a lot doesn't she?"

Harry half smiled. "Only a little."

"And emotions do come out unexpectedly time to time and it did for you and she was there to make you feel better."

Harry nodded, smiling. "She did. I never cried my heart out like that on anybody. It kind of felt good actually. It did feel sibling-like. She was being my older sister. She was making sure her younger brother was okay and everything. Yeah, she was just being a friend. I wouldn't admit it but I think I kind of needed somebody right then and there and she was there so she let me cry and tell her my worries and thoughts about everything. But I did tell her I wanted to be left alone when she brought me up here and she understood. Madam Pomfrey asked her if she wanted to stay here with me and sleep in here as well but she knew I wanted to be alone so she said she didn't. Not that it mattered, I feel asleep a few minutes after she left," Harry finished smiling.

Ginny smiled as well but stopped soon after. Harry noticed this and looked her in her eyes.

"Ginny, listen, why don't you clear off for a bit okay? Stay with your family for a little while. They all need each other after what just happened."

Ginny dabbed at her eyes and looked at the boy in front of her. "Are- are you sure? You need me right now as well. I did my grieving…"

"Ginny please, _I'm_ not through with my grieving so don't tell me you are. I know how close your family is and they all need to be with each other right now. Don't worry about me; I'll be here until I decide it's safe to face everyone again. I've got Hermione, don't worry," he smiled.

She stood. "I guess you're right. I can't stop thinking about him. It's so hard to- to say he's gone. He can't be gone, it hasn't hit me or something, I don't know. It doesn't seem final," she said looking at the cold stone floor.

Harry took her hand. "I know how you feel, believe me. I spent a good amount of time sobbing this all you to Hermione. You need to be with your family for now. I'll be right here, waiting for you to come back as soon as you can."

Ginny smiled through her tears and kissed him swiftly before walking out. As soon as she did Harry's smile faded. There was so much that had been done yet there still seemed so much that needed to be done. He sat for a while, expecting Madam Pomfrey to come through the door into the private room but she didn't. He was getting hungry and Ginny said it was past lunch. He felt really foolish sitting in his bed doing noting and trying to avoid everyone but he really didn't need everyone congratulating him, hugging him, kissing him, patting him on the back and everything for defeated Voldermort. Just as he was feeling it was best to just face everyone now the door opened and a young woman stepped in, dressed in the same green robes Harry had seen the healers at St. Mungo's wear.

"Hello Mr. Potter. Poppy is dealing with someone right now it's so busy in here so extra help from St. Mungo's had to be brought over. I'm Hr. Gesovitch," she said smiling.

"Um, hello Madam. Um, no offence but I'm feeling pretty good and ready to leave actually," Harry said getting up and shuddering as his bare feet hit the cold floor.

"She warned me you would say that," said Hr. Gesovitch with amusement.

"Oh did she now? Well she knows me more than I thought. No, really, I feel pretty good after everything that happened this morning and- wait, how do you know about this room? I thought she told me it's private. Now everyone will know where I am wont they?" Harry asked frowning.

"Oh no, nobody knows of this room Mr. Potter but us. Every student who was injured is behind curtains so they don't even know who is sitting across from them so its very private, even in there. She wanted me to check you over. According to her you are suffering from magical and physical exhaustion and are a bit malnourished and dehydrated."

"She got all of that from last night?" Harry cried out. "Really, I'm feeling fine. She overreacts time to time."

"Plus, she thought you might like something to eat," fished the healer.

"Oh, well, she's right about that then I guess."

Hr. Gesovitch nodded and smiled. "Get into bed and I can give you some lunch and as you eat I'll check over you. If I find you are in better shape then I'll show Poppy and she'll let you go most likely. Does that sound like a plan?"

Harry shrugged. "I guess, I'm in no hurry to be honest."

The young woman nodded and went to get lunch for Harry. She returned a minute later with a food tray and a couple potions. Harry ate his chicken noodle soup as Hr. Gesovitch waved her wand around Harry to check how he was doing in comparison to earlier when he came here. She was finished as soon as Harry was with his soup and bread.

"Well, you are fairing a bit better than how you were when you came here. Of course I don't really know how you exactly were, all I have to show for it is the information Poppy wont on this file here. I'll talk to her and she'll come in when she can alright?"

Harry sighed but nodded. Hr. Gesovitch bade good-be and left. Harry leaned back into the back of the bed, thinking. Did he want to leave lust yet? He felt a bit foolish staying here, hiding away from everybody. How many people were still at Hogwarts? He knew parents would want to take their children out even after everything turned out for the good in the end. He would have to face everything sooner or later, why not get it over with? He wondered where he would go when he did decide to leave school. His first thought was the Burrow but a second later told him that would be a bad idea. The Weasley family would be resigning back home and needed time to grieve over their lost brother and son. His second thought was Shell Cottage where Bill and Fleur lived but he ruled that possibility out as well. Bill wanted to be with his family after everything, he was certain, plus staying with any Weasley at a time like this would make him feel like he was intruding on their personal life. They really didn't need him at this time. He didn't know exactly how long it took for someone to mourn over a loved one. He lost every one of his guardians but he wasn't as close to them or he didn't remember them because he was so young when he died.

"Wow, I'm homeless right now. That sounds a bit strange but I actually have nowhere to go at this point. I can't go to the Weasleys or to Shell Cottage and I really have no business at Privet Drive. There's no way I can go there at all even if the house is empty. That was my hell. Plus I lost Hedwig there, or around there." At this Harry drew in a hitched breath.

He had told himself to not think about his lost owl the past year. It hurt too much when he did and there was too much to think about but that. He didn't want to appear rude. He smirked in a sad way; if she saw how he was acting she would nip him hard to get him to focus on something else. But now, now there was nothing else to do but think about her. She had been his companion, his only link to the wizarding world when he was at Privet Drive. His first gift ever. She was so beautiful and reliable and everything he could want in a pet. It never seemed real that she was dead, never. It happened so fast, he didn't have a chance to say good-bye. With a heavy heart the last they were together she was angry at him. Before he knew it, Harry was crying again. He tried to regain composer for he didn't know when Madam Pomfrey would walk in and he didn't need her to see him blubbering like a baby.

It felt more real now. He didn't need to think about where the horcruxes were, where the Deathly Hallows where, the next spot he would be 'camping' out with Hermione and Ron. All that was over. He defeated Voldermort but this was just the beginning. Now he had to do the hardest part of all, mourn…

Alright, I think I'll close for now. I guess this won't be a oneshot after all!! Haha, oh well. Knew it wouldn't, I write too damn much to make a oneshot. I thought this sounded like a pretty good way to just end a chapter; it's so gentle and easy to understand. I will write more after this, I just need reviews! Before any of you start harping on me about the whole Ginny Harry thing, I'm sorry if it sounds forced but I never found them really cute together so writing it is a bit hard and it will be even tougher to write Ron and Hermione, I just never saw them happening either. I tried my best. Besides, like Harry said, he needs to be alone with his thoughts. I would too if I were him. Ginny needs to be there for her family at this sad time and Hermione was only there for Harry because she happened to be at the right place at the right time. This chapter was really short huh? Coming up next, plans for Harry. We shall see some Teddy Lupin and funeral arrangements and something else Harry wants to do as well. Read more to find out. Come back for more! Oh, and read my other story as well alright? I only have one review and I posted a new chapter almost two days ago. Me sad… alrght, that's it, see you! REVIEW please! Love and magic: Rose.


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